RADAR

RADAR is a relationship maintenance tool. It was developed as a version of agile software development as applied to relationships. It's fairly straightforward and can be applied to all kinds of relationships, though it was developed for polyamorous romantic relationships.

Why

Treat your partner with Compassion and Empathy.

This is a safe space to discuss triumphs and disappointments, intense gratitude and sadness. Remember that we’re here because we want our relationship to be the best it can possibly be.[1]

Method

Review past actions since the last RADAR session

Use your calendar, todo lists, or planner. Take notes on anything that you want to discuss. This can include anything that wasn't done or "should" have been done.

Agree on the agenda

Categorize everything you want to discuss into the following topics.

• Quality time
• Money
• Sex
• Work/Projects
• Health
• Travel
• Other partners
• Family
• Fights/Arguments
• Household
• Miscellaneous
• (anything particularly relevant to your scenario)

Discuss

Go through the list. Hit each topic, even if everything is going well.

Action Steps

Create achievable goals that are as specific as possible.

Reconnect

Spend time doing something that brings the people involved closer together. For example,

• Appreciation (take turns sharing and listening)
• Compliments
• Fun Activity
• Massage or cuddle
• Sex
• etc.

Techniques

• Use the triforce of communication.
• Remember to HALT if you are Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired (or drunk). Come back when this is no longer true.
• Use non-violent communication when discussing challenging topics.

References

1. https://www.multiamory.com/radar

Last modified: 202512190623